When was the last time you found yourself thinking about your current situation in life, and how making just one different decision in your past would’ve have changed the course of everything for the better? Perhaps if you had or had not of done that one thing, absolutely everything would be totally different. Maybe if you could have had more time, better support, or different resources things would have worked out how you wanted them to. These thoughts are destructive, and it’s finally time to stop and take control.
People tend to live as though their past controls their future, but this is only true if you allow it to be. Your memories of past events are biased, leaving you with feelings towards those situations that are distorted and often times, unresourceful. By learning to own the fact that you are in control of the decisions you have made and will make in your life, you are one step closer to achieving your desired outcomes.
1. Quit Passing the Blame and Let Go
All too often we don’t want to own up to the mistakes that we have made in the past. We blame other people, our previous circumstances, and our surroundings for not achieving the results we wanted. Not only is this tendency unattractive to others when trying to gain their support, but it also prevents us from altering our decision making process and impedes us from getting the results we want.
I want you to think of a time when something didn’t go your way. Did blaming someone/something else change that? Nope, definitely not. What can YOU do differently next time to alter your outcome?
We are in control of our own decisions. By learning to liberate ourselves from the decisions of the past (both our own and those of others) we can achieve so much more clarity on the path to being successful. Always reflect on what you have learned, and move forward knowing how you can be better. Do not worry about the others.
2. Learn to Accept and Take Care of Yourself
When you learn how to take 100% responsibility for things you want and the work you put into achieving them, you will begin to naturally attract the support of others without them being the ones in control.
We are all human, each respectively with our own flaws. By learning to accept our faults, and working towards being better each and every day we will find that the sense of control we feel in our day-to-day actions will naturally strengthen.
Continuously seek to develop traits that will aid in the process of getting what you want and nurture those characteristics as they develop. Reward yourself for your successes, but do not punish yourself for mis-steps; it is all part of the journey. In order to feel good you need to reassure yourself that you are doing good, so be sure to evaluate along the way and recognize your achievements – no matter how small.
3. Establish Your Priorities and Always Think Forward
If you feel like you are constantly at war with a never ending to-do list perhaps it is time to stop and assess how you got there. Don’t be afraid to turn away new opportunities that do not contribute to your overall end game. The end goal here is progress, if your actions are not contributing to your progress then why are you participating in them? Rid your time of useless activities.
Further to the idea that you should not waste your time on things not contributing to your overall success, it is important to recognize that you also aren’t going to do something you don’t believe is possible. If you tell yourself you can’t do something, then chances are you won’t. After all, why would you try to do something that your brain thinks you are incapable of doing? Prioritize your success, and work towards the end goal here. Think of the tools and actions you need to get there, and determine how you can and will get and do those things. Don’t be afraid to give it your all – even in unfamiliar territory.