How To Deal With Disappointment

Disappointment sucks. It is basically a complicated vortex of multiple emotions. One of the most difficult parts of dealing with disappointment is the feeling that you need to “just get over” whatever it is you are upset about.

You worked hard and yet again you didn’t get what you had expected, or you put so much effort into that relationship and the feelings weren’t reciprocated.

You start to question:

  • WHY DIDN’T THE UNIVERSE HAVE MY BACK?
  • I TRIED SO HARD TO MANIFEST THE RESULTS I WANTED, WHY DIDN’T IT WORK?

Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life and so this week I have 3 simple tips for you to learn to cope with disappointment in your own life. As always, the audio version is available on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Google Play.

1. Talk About It

Think about a child when they are upset about something. What do they do? They lay on the floor kicking and screaming until the emotions run out and then they move on.

Now, obviously you are an adult and you cannot simply just  throw a temper tantrum. However, you are able to tell someone how you are feeling.  Find a friend, a partner, a parent, a coworker and talk about the disappointment

  1. WHAT HAPPENED?
  2. WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

Now is not the time for pointing blame at everyone else for whatever the disappointment was, but it is the time for letting out the emotions of how you are really feeling so you can begin to move on.

2. Make a Game Plan

Whether it’s a missed job opportunity, a failed relationship, or an event that didn’t quite work out; you need to figure out where you are going to go from here. While it may seem plausible to just toss in the towel and wallow in a pity party, that strategy really isn’t going to get you very far in the long run.

This step is a fundamental part of dealing with disappointment and it’s also probably the hardest.

It can certainly be difficult to think towards the future when the wounds are so fresh, but you need to seize this as a new opportunity from the universe for your life to take a new course and freaking figure out where to go from here.

You’ve got this.

3. Don’t Back Down

Yes, disappointment can make it hard to keep showing up, but persistence (particularly in hard times) is one of the keys to being successful. Find that passion within yourself for whatever it is you want to pursue – relationships, career, family – and go for it.

If what you are doing or have done isn’t working, find a new approach and try again. Getting what you want isn’t often a straight road – learn to tolerate the loss, take a new risk, and go for it.

– – –

When it comes down to it, disappointment is inevitable. Feel sad, feel angry, and then find a way to move on. Seize this moment to get back on track to the life you want and remind yourself that you deserve more than settling for whatever unfortunate circumstance you have currently found yourself in.

We can only go upwards from here my friends, that’s where I am headed and I hope you will join me.

How To Handle Rejection

Handling Rejection

So, you got rejected. It hurts right? Really sucks? Feels not so great? Jobs. Relationships. Everything else that got away. We have all been there. Rejection isn’t easy, but it certainly doesn’t have to be as difficult as we often make it out to be. The way in which you respond to it can determine your future. Are you going to allow it to hold you back, or will you utilize the chance to grow stronger, more resilient, and better prepared the next time?

As always, you can find the audio version of this post on iTunes, SoundCloud, or Google Play.

1. Reframe the Rejection

The easiest thing you can do when faced with rejection is to slip into the “I’m so stupid” mentality.  Approaching your defeat with this attitude is only going to hold you down. If you aren’t there to lift yourself up,  no one else will be either. It’s important in these times, to reaffirm the efforts you have made and remember, “I pushed myself to my limits”. By exercising this compassion you can begin to see the new possibilities provided by this misfortune.

2. Do Not Let It Define Your Limitations

A single case of rejection (or perhaps more than one) is not indicative of the end. Not getting the job you wanted, or being rejected by the one you ‘love’ does not discredit who you are as a person or the skills and attributes you have to offer the world. It is not the end.

Remember, one incident or individual is not reflective of all that you have and are.

3. Seek the Learning Opportunity

Rejection doesn’t have to be the end. In fact, rejection can serve as a humbling experience because it reminds you that you don’t know/have everything. With the right mindset, rejection can serve as an opportunity for motivation to do and be better.

Yes. You lost opportunity x or person y,  but what did you learn? What can you do differently next time? And what is it that you want?

Rejection is hard and it hurts, but it’s certainly not the end. Revaluate, appreciate, and always persevere.