How To Deal With Disappointment

Disappointment sucks. It is basically a complicated vortex of multiple emotions. One of the most difficult parts of dealing with disappointment is the feeling that you need to “just get over” whatever it is you are upset about.

You worked hard and yet again you didn’t get what you had expected, or you put so much effort into that relationship and the feelings weren’t reciprocated.

You start to question:

  • WHY DIDN’T THE UNIVERSE HAVE MY BACK?
  • I TRIED SO HARD TO MANIFEST THE RESULTS I WANTED, WHY DIDN’T IT WORK?

Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life and so this week I have 3 simple tips for you to learn to cope with disappointment in your own life. As always, the audio version is available on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Google Play.

1. Talk About It

Think about a child when they are upset about something. What do they do? They lay on the floor kicking and screaming until the emotions run out and then they move on.

Now, obviously you are an adult and you cannot simply just  throw a temper tantrum. However, you are able to tell someone how you are feeling.  Find a friend, a partner, a parent, a coworker and talk about the disappointment

  1. WHAT HAPPENED?
  2. WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

Now is not the time for pointing blame at everyone else for whatever the disappointment was, but it is the time for letting out the emotions of how you are really feeling so you can begin to move on.

2. Make a Game Plan

Whether it’s a missed job opportunity, a failed relationship, or an event that didn’t quite work out; you need to figure out where you are going to go from here. While it may seem plausible to just toss in the towel and wallow in a pity party, that strategy really isn’t going to get you very far in the long run.

This step is a fundamental part of dealing with disappointment and it’s also probably the hardest.

It can certainly be difficult to think towards the future when the wounds are so fresh, but you need to seize this as a new opportunity from the universe for your life to take a new course and freaking figure out where to go from here.

You’ve got this.

3. Don’t Back Down

Yes, disappointment can make it hard to keep showing up, but persistence (particularly in hard times) is one of the keys to being successful. Find that passion within yourself for whatever it is you want to pursue – relationships, career, family – and go for it.

If what you are doing or have done isn’t working, find a new approach and try again. Getting what you want isn’t often a straight road – learn to tolerate the loss, take a new risk, and go for it.

– – –

When it comes down to it, disappointment is inevitable. Feel sad, feel angry, and then find a way to move on. Seize this moment to get back on track to the life you want and remind yourself that you deserve more than settling for whatever unfortunate circumstance you have currently found yourself in.

We can only go upwards from here my friends, that’s where I am headed and I hope you will join me.

How To Set Goals and Get What You Want

GUIDE TO SET GOALS

When was the last time you set a clear and definite goal and actually successfully achieved it?

Do you ever find your mind wandering towards hopes of how life could be or should be different, only to find yourself in the same position a few weeks later? Are you still wishing, hoping, and waiting for that big change to come? Well, if your answer is yes then you are not alone.

As always you can find the audio version (EP002 & EP003) on iTunes, Google Play, or SoundCloud 

Often times as millennials, we find our minds scattered with big, sporadic ideas and no proper sense of direction on how we will achieve them. We feel lost, overwhelmed, and ultimately hopeless that all of these plans are just plans and will never equate to anything more. It is not until we begin to break down these plans, figure out what the steps are that it will take to make them a reality, and set tangible goals, that we can finally start living out the life we have always dreamed. With a proper sense of direction and purpose, anything is achievable.

Choosing to take action towards setting goals will lead to outcomes you have always figured were out of reach. When you decide you want something and actually work towards achieving it, it won’t be long until you want more. Follow these 5 simple steps to mastering goal setting, achieving, and igniting your flame to set the world on fire. This is YOUR life, YOU get to choose how you want it to look.

1. Set Goals.

Set tangible, measurable goals and WRITE. THEM. DOWN. Accountability is key. By writing down your goals you will help to hold yourself accountable to what it is you are trying to achieve, and quite simply you will be able to remember what the initial task was that you set out to accomplish.

2. Determine what you are going to need to achieve your goals.

  • Do you have enough time  to produce the results you are looking for?
  • Will you need more money?
  • Do you have the quantity and quality of content you are hoping to provide?
  • Is there additional knowledge you need to obtain to be successful?

Understanding what you already have and what you are going to need will help you determine how long it will take you. Additionally, breaking your goal down into smaller, individual tasks makes the whole idea of achieving it less overwhelming.

3. Develop a [reasonable] timeline.

Studies have shown that we are more focused and committed to achieving things if we have structure indicating when we want to achieve them by.  Are you a procrastinator? If so then it is important to be honest with what you can accomplish and how long it will actually take you to do. After all, this timeline is for you so be realistic.

4. Be willing to embrace change and prepare for uncertainties.

Sometimes throughout the process, plans change, ideas change, resources change – be open to new possibilities and embrace change as it comes. By resisting the unexpected on your journey, you are really only resisting the likelihood of you actually achieving your goals. Instead use the unexpected as an opportunity to learn a new skills, pursue a new avenue, or perhaps change your end goal all together. The process is key to your own growth.

5. Reflect

Remember that your journey is your own. It may take more or less time than others. There is no such thing as a failure, only feedback. If you aren’t getting the results you want, recognize that you need to do something differently. Take the time to periodically check how you are doing and reflect on what you keep doing, stop doing, and start doing. In determining your areas of fault and success, you will be able to increase your efficiency and achieve your goals faster. Self-reflection is imperative to success.

If this all seems a little overwhelming, or you aren’t sure where to start please find my goal setting template here to help you get started.