How To Live Your True Purpose

What is your purpose here? What is your truest desire? Your desires are the map to the life you really want to live.  However, from a very young age you have been conditioned to be fearful and taught to play it safe. Whether this conditioning has come from the bad news you see on TV or the stories from your parents – you are designed to live cautiously at risk of getting hurt (physically emotionally or even financially).

We see this all the time in day-to-day life. Anytime someone we know decides to take risks (travel the world, quit their job to follow a passion, etc) instead of being supporting we often caution them of the dangers.

  1. What if they get hurt?
  2. They will probably fail.
  3. What if they go bankrupt?

We are raised to “follow our dreams” but are later cautioned to take the safe route – get a good job and stick it out because it will lead us to happiness.

Now stop for a minute and imagine a world where the opposite were true.

Imagine if we supported people whole hardly in their pursuits.

When it comes to fear, you have no guarantee that the BAD things you fear are going to happen. In fact following your dreams could actually lead to something absolutely incredible, but you won’t know if you don’t try!

Here are my 3 tips for you to stop listening to everyone else, and start living your true purpose. As always you can find the audio version on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Google Play.

1. Learn to Get Comfortable In It

What is “it” you ask? Well, “it” can be whatever you want. Your dream job, your dream relationship, your dream vacation… you can decide to go for it, whatever it is.

NEWS FLASH – your freedom is on the other side of fear. I am not saying quit your job and go frivolously spend 10k on a trip to Bali. I am saying that fear is likely the one major component holding you back from chasing whatever it is you want.

In order to fulfill the seemingly impossible dream, the first thing you need to do is get comfortable in the idea that anything is possible. You create your own reality. Decide what it is you want and decide that you are going to get.

2. Think to The Future

Start now by remembering a time you did something you were really scared to do. Whether it was bungee jumping, moving away from home for the first time, starting a job you weren’t even sure you were qualified for… Whatever it is – I want you to think back to that time!

How do you feel about it now?

It is funny how our fears are less scary looking back on… Something that nearly immobilized us at the time has us now thinking “Wow I can’t believe I was afraid of THAT!”

Now what I want you to do with whatever it is you are afraid, is pretend to look back on what it from a future you. You need to tell yourself, “I am going to do this, and it won’t be so bad.”

3. Break Down the Fear

Lastly, determine what part of your dream you are afraid of.

  • Is it failure for not being able to succeed?
  • Is it humiliation for even trying?

On the other hand, imagine you were to give up on the dream entirely. What could potentially happen?

  • Maybe sadness for never finding out if it was even possible?
  • Maybe humiliation for never having the guts to try?

Now you need to decide which of these two possibilities is worse.

Would you rather continue to live in mediocrity, or would you rather pursue success? (And yes potentially failure, but THINK of what you could learn!)

We are all so stuck in our comfort zones that we are afraid to move. Stop letting the fear of not doing whatever your dream is outweigh the fear of getting it done.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Determine your dream, get comfortable in the idea that it is possible, think of how easy it will feel when it’s over and focus on breaking down what silly little thing it is that you are actually afraid of.

YOU CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. WE CAN ALL DO THIS.

Millennial of the Month: Kisha Nadine

Kisha Nadine

This month’s interview was with Kisha Nadine, a web designer & developer who works with artists and creative entrepreneurs to help them achieve their goals. She ditched her 9-5 to pursue entrepreneurship in search of autonomy, creative freedom and the ability to help those who are making a difference in the world. As always, the full interview with Kisha can be found on the podcast.

Check out her site at www.kishanadine.com

Where to Find the Interview

iTunes Link

SoundCloud Link

Google Play Link

How To Handle Loneliness

How to Avoid a Life of Isolation

Have you ever experienced the feeling of being alone? Well, it’s now February, Forever-Alone-uary, whichever you choose; an absolute pertinent time to discuss this issue.

Let’s be honest, whether you are in a relationship or not, loneliness has a tendency to rear it’s head from time to time. It can be especially hard this time of year as everyone shoves their relationships in your face, but your love life doesn’t have to be the only place you face this challenge. In the work place, at home, or at your pass time of choice establishing and maintaining relationships can get difficult once all of the components of real life “adulthood” start to enter into your life.

Loneliness can certainly take its toll if you so allow it to. As you dwell in your “Woe is me. Why am I alone? I will be alone forever” mentality, life is passing by without you, and with it passes the chance to cope and move past this hopeless state of mind. This week I am providing 4 steps I actively use to combat loneliness in my day-to-day life.

As always, check out the audio of this post on Google Play, SoundCloud, and iTunes.

1. Normalize the Feeling

You are not alone in feeling lonely. Everyone from solo entrepreneurs who work from home and don’t get out often, to the most social of individuals face the feeling of loneliness from time to time. As society becomes more connected through our phones and technology, there is greater feeling of disconnect on a face-to-face level. This is the new normal, and I can guarantee each of you have felt this at least once. You’re not crazy or alone at all, your loneliness is in fact a commonality you share with so many other people.

2. Build Yourself Up

In order to full accept the value you hold, and to be okay with being alone from time to time, you have to create a good relationship with yourself. You need to abandon your self-deprecating thoughts when it comes to doing things alone, because:

  1. You don’t know what other people are thinking.
  2. You really shouldn’t care either way.

Learn the importance of treating yourself. Join that yoga class, go see that exhibit or movie you’ve been wanting to; even if it means you have to do it alone. Yes, having company is nice, but you are with yourself you’re entire life – embrace it and rejoice in the comfort of being able to enjoy that fact.

3. Join a Network Online

As we get older our interest begin to shift. You likely have found yourself drifting from relationships with people you used to spend hours with doing whatever with simply because you have each established your own new lives, new interests, and new trajectories. While this sad reality can leave you feeling empty and alone, the internet has come to save the day.

I know I just said that technology is ruining our ability to feel truly connected, but the internet serves as a great tool to find a like minded community that you can then transition into real life should you so choose (or not!). There are 1000s of online communities waiting for you to discover, and share your experiences with likeminded individuals. Whether your interests are in fitness, entrepreneurship, couponing, or parenting an online community exists out there for you.

These groups/communities can provide a sense of accountability you may not be finding in your “real world” relationships. Use these networks to actually interact with people, support others, and ask for advice. Remember, even when you may feel absolutely alone. Someone is out there somewhere waiting for you.

4. Volunteer

Whether it’s one hour or one day every week, month, or year – seek an opportunity to give back. Not only will you make a positive impact in your community, you will meet people with similar interests and create connections you may not necessarily have had already. Choose an interest, get on the google machine, and start making a difference. It only takes that first leap into committing to a cause and the rest will fall into place.

Lonely, but never truly alone. Embrace yourself, your life, and your surroundings.

 

Millennial of the Month: Cassidy Davis

Cassidy Davis Headshot

This month I had the pleasure of interviewing an up and coming actress living in Los Angeles. Cassidy shares about her transition to LA, what it’s like living there day to day, and even provides advice for other millennials who are a little too afraid to follow their truest intention. The full interview with Cassidy can be found on the podcast.

Where to Find the Interview

iTunes Link

SoundCloud Link

Google Play Link

How To Practice Healthy Holiday Habits

Guilt-Free Holiday Season

The holidays are an exciting time of year! Between the Christmas parties, the cookies, the gifts, and the quality time spent with friends and family, you likely have a jam packed schedule and full stomach in your horizon. Trust me, I know firsthand and as exciting as this time of year can be, it can also be quite stressful and taxing on our minds and bodies.

This week I am providing 4 steps you can follow to help ease the stress of the holiday season. Christmas is meant to be enjoyed, and here is how! As always, you can find the audio version on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Google Play.

1. Get Plenty of Sleep

If you’re anything like me, you likely have a tendency to over commit. Between social gatherings, shopping, dinners, parties, baking, wrapping gifts, and so on, this time of year is busy! The last thing you need to be doing is getting sick.

Our immune systems rely on sleep to recharge and rebuild the cells we damaged throughout the day. While it may seem beneficial to ditch a few Z’s in favour of knocking out that To-Do list, I urge you to resist. Sleep is key, especially this time of year in order to maintain that pep in your step and provide you the momentum you need to get things done and get them done well!

Do not sacrifice your sleep – your mind, body, and immune system will thank you.

2. Avoid Restriction

Any of you who tried dieting or weight loss knows about restrictions all too well. You think that cutting carbs, cutting sugar, cutting fat, etc. is going to help you not gain weight during the holidays. I am here to encourage you to stop with the unnecessary added stress, and embrace the holiday food for what it is – delicious!

Trying to limit your intake is only going to result in binge. This is your chance to indulge! Those seemingly impossible last 5 pounds you are obsessing over are those slices of pizza you wanted on Friday, or the couple of beers you want to have out with your friends. You have to come to terms that those last 5 pounds are not worth your social life, those special moments with special people, and most importantly your sanity.

I am not saying the holidays are your excuse to go buck-wild and eat 5000 calories in a day, but if you accidentally do then hey! It’s done! It was one day, and you can try and be better the next.

Personally I find being mindful, and eating slowly help me listen to my body’s hunger and fullness cues. Maybe try starting with slightly smaller portions as opposed to a plate heaped high. You are better off to have to go up for seconds than to feel obligated to finish a massive plate just because its right in front of you!

Have your nana’s dessert that you’ve been waiting all year for! Try one of every flavour of cookie if you want. Satisfy your cravings and stop when you’re full. The holidays are only a few days so you might as well enjoy it. I promise the memories are worth the last 5 pounds.

3. Hydrate!

Water is crucial to maintain energy levels when its busy, helping to de-bloat after a big meal, and aiding in hydration of your skin (which if you’re anything like me your skin is CRYING this time of year). The best thing you can do before and after you indulge in a holiday meal is to maintain your hydration. This will help you to a) control your appetite, and b) flush your body out when you’ve had an extra slice of pie (or two). Water is our most underrated resource, so get it into you!

4. Enjoy Yourself

Holidays can be stressful, fast-paced, and overwhelming, but they are meant to be enjoyed. So have fun! Embrace the time with family, spread the joy, and indulge in some delicious goodies; no judgement here!

How to Create Your Own Future

Create the Life You Really Want

Here you are – 2017.

Right now you are whatever age. One day you are going to be much older, and one day you are eventually going to die. There is no escaping that fact. We are all going to die.

I want you to imagine that your life is ending tomorrow. Does your life look how you imagined? What do you regret? What are all the things you planned, but haven’t yet followed through on?

  • Maybe you never managed to find the motivation to lose that 20 pounds you always wanted to.
  • Perhaps you have found yourself stuck in a really bad relationship for years because you were too afraid to leave.
  • Maybe you’re stuck at a really lousy job because it pays the bills and you aren’t certain you can find anything better if you quit.

So here you are laying on your death bed. I want you to ask yourself this:

What is ONE thing you wish you would have done differently? Do you have it? Are you imagining that one thing?

I am about to offer you the chance to take whatever that one thing is, and work towards turning it into a reality now.

This week I am offering two very basic steps you need to start now in order to create the change you are seeking. As always, the audio version of this podcast will be available on iTunes, Google Play, and Soundcloud.

1. Stop Doing What You Are Currently Doing

If you are unsatisfied with some aspect of your life, it is obvious that your current routine is not working. Further to that, continuing to do the same thing day in and day out is never going to garner you different results. New opportunities aren’t going to fall out of the sky, and you aren’t suddenly going to wake up on day with a plethora of motivation to change your lifestyle – you need to make a conscious effort.

In order to make a change, you need to focus on determining the source of your problem.

  1. What bad habits do you have that are preventing you from achieving what you want?
  2. Do spend to many hours watching youtube?
  3. Ae you eating too many cookies in a week?
  4. Do you spend too much money on useless stuff?
  5. Where do you want to go, or what do you want to do? And which of these habits is preventing you from getting there?

Whichever you determine it is, work on stopping. Don’t you dare say you can’t! “I can’t” is just an excuse that allows you to be lazy. You CAN do whatever it is you want – in fact the difference between you and the person living the life you want is that they told themselves “I can” and they did it”.

Stop with the bad habits. Stop with the excuses. And stop letting laziness control your life.

2. Starting Developing New Actions

In order to successfully build new habits, you need to approach it piece by piece.  Lifestyle changes are much easier to accomplish when they are broken down into small, more manageable chunks. So, when it comes to developing new habits to work towards the future you want, the cold turkey approach isn’t going to work. Instead, I recommend slowly replacing bad habits with new ones, one by one.

It’s all about simply taking the initiative to start developing new habits. Too often we tend to get stuck in the past in that we think, “Well this would’ve worked out if I had’ve just done this instead”. While learning from past mistakes is important, focusing all of your attention on the past is ultimately going to hold you back. The past may have been bad, but there was certainly also a lot of good moving to where you are today.

Successful people aren’t sitting around crying about yesterday, they are taking those lessons they learned, applying them to today, and moving towards tomorrow. Wherever it is you want to get in life, you need to map out your plan – swap a Netflix episode here for 30 minutes of research towards a project you’re working on, skip the take out meal one night a week and put that 10 bucks in a travel fund for that trip you want to take – be accountable, and start building your life piece by piece.

Your future is yours to create.

How To Face Your Fears

What is it that you are most afraid of and how does that make you feel?

I know that even the thought of facing you fears can leave you feeling unsure, uncomfortable, and full of anxiety. However, I can promise that making the move towards confronting these fears can actually improve the quality of your life tenfold. This week I am offering 4 simple tips for working towards confronting that which you fear the most.

As always you can find the audio version of this post on SoundCloud, iTunes, and Google Play.

1. Identify What Scares You

In order to overcome your fear, you need to really understand the concept specific to the context of your fear itself

  1. What is it that you are afraid of?
  2. How does thinking of this fear make you feel? (Think of the cues your body sends – racing thoughts, shortness of breath, etc)

By accepting the symptoms you feel as an association with your fear, you can begin to narrow down what thoughts specifically trigger this reaction.

2. Learn To Differentiate Rational and Irrational

Fear is a totally useful evolutionary response. Thousands of years ago you would have needed fear to protect you from predators. However, you live in a different world now, and you need to learn to understand which fears are useful and which fears are wasting your energy and comprising your ability to live life as you should.

Your fear to speak in public though quite common and seemingly reasonable, isn’t actually a fear that is directly related to your wellbeing. yeah sure, you fear embarrassment or rejection for doing it but you aren’t going to die from it. Focus on the rationality. Why are you getting so worked up and is that level of discomfort rational? Ask your self these questions.

3. Develop a Plan

You know that the end goal here is to face your fear. So, how are you going to get there? The thought of facing your fear can be scary, overwhelming, and even panic inducing. In order to effectively (and easily) face your fear, you need to break it down into a more manageable approach.

For me, my fear was going into a burning building as part of my firefighter recruit training, and so I broke it down into the following steps:

  1. Show up at the specified location for training.
  2. Actively listen to the instruction to figure out what my task was exactly and how to do it safely.
  3. Make sure to wear all proper PPE, and double check to ensure it is properly sealed/worn correctly.
  4. Remain calm and focus on breathing throughout the exercise.

I know most of you are likely not training to be fire fighters and that’s okay. These steps are applicable to all sorts of different fears.

For example: If your fear is flying, start by buying a plane ticket, going to the airport, etc. If you’re afraid to try a new hobby, start by researching it online, finding local classes, etc.

By understanding what it will take to over come your fear you can break it down it to much less daunting tasks. You should not have to fear the process of overcoming your fear.

4. Focus on Your Thoughts

Often our fears are based on the worst case scenario. We typically utilize failure, death, rejection, and so on as an excuse to reinforce our fears.  What I want to encourage you to do in this case is to focus on taking the negative and flipping it into the best case scenario.

For example: Take “If I start my own business, I will fail and go bankrupt” and change it to “If I start my own business I will become wildly successful”

Your internal dialogue is what controls your reactions. While you obviously can’t control the outcomes of every scenario, you are able to control your perception. So think about what other factors of this situation are in your control. Remember, your mind will quit long before your body ever does.

– – –

I promise you that the internal freedom you feel from facing that of which you are most afraid will enable you to continue to find freedom from other areas in your life. I know personally, that after overcoming my fear of live fire I am now so ready to conquer other things in my career and personal life that I have just been waiting on for so long in my mind – in fear of unknown outcomes.

At the end of the day, fear is a learned construct – fear of judgment or rejection, fear for your safety… It is is your control to unlearn it. Visualize the best case that could be, relax yourself, breathe, and conquer your fears.

How to Embrace Uncertainty

How to Leave Your Comfort Zone

When was the last time you thought about making a change in your life? I will bet that it was probably as recent as today. Maybe you want to move to a new city, maybe you want to change your career, or maybe you just want to cut your hair a different way… However, you are afraid. The idea of this change makes you nervous, and uncomfortable, but have you asked yourself why?

As humans, our biology has wired us to seek certainty. We know and understand that taking a risk can often yield great rewards, and yet we choose to stay in our safe little bubbles, living life the same as we do day in and day out.  Back thousands of years ago, humans did live in a scary world where you could be eaten by predator at night, or you could die at age 20 of disease. The threats that have ingrained fear into our biology are significantly less now thanks to technology and medicine and yet we still live in fear. Now, the aversion to risk that has kept humans alive for thousands of years, is the one thing actually preventing us from living.

Uncertainty is where new happens. I am here to remind you that you can’t do anything new without doing something different and so here are 3 tips on what you can do to embrace the uncertain, take more risks, and get a little uncomfortable. As always the audio version is available on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Google Play.

1. EXPLORE. EXPLORE. EXPLORE.

Think about this statement:

Our comfort zones are never really comfortable after all

 

You are afraid to quit your job that you don’t like because it’s comfortable. The job pays your bills, yes, but you don’t like it so is that really comfortable after all? I would say no.

The more you try to stick to the confines of your so called comfort zone, the more unfulfilled and uncomfortable you will feel later on. You need to get out and explore new places, new opportunities, and new ideas. No one has an answer to life, it is for you to discover. Be open to the possibilities you could achieve and make a move towards finding out how to get them. You’ll never find them if you don’t go looking!

2. Be Content with Looking Foolish

One of our greatest hindrances in personal development is fear. Our fear of uncertainty often stems from our fear of judgement – when taking a so-called “risk” we fear to others we might look stupid, awkward, or weird. We fear that people may perceive us as a failure if our new path doesn’t pan out. However,  despite other people’s opinions you can be sure that your life will go on regardless of outcome.

People are always going to be jealous of other people who are taking risks. Why? Because they are likely too afraid to do it themselves. When people think ill of you, that is a reflection of them  so, you have to let them judge you. Be confident in your decisions and live your life true to your intention, no one else’s.

3. Think Less, Do More.

Whenever there is opportunity to make a change towards uncertainty, our minds tend to drift towards the negative. We fear that the unknown holds a lot of bad and while this is true, the unknown also holds a lot of good. In fact, the unknown is overflowing with opportunity.

Instead of wasting your time thinking and worrying about all of the bad that could happen, start doing things that will get you closer to the good (A.K.A. your goals). The less you try to make sense of what could happen, the more time you will have to actually work towards getting what you want AND the more easily you will find the stress associated with worrying magically disappear.

– – –

Success will never be certain, but not doing anything at all is the worst thing you can do. What makes you uncomfortable? Do that more. Eat alone. Talk to strangers. Go somewhere you have never been.

Do not let uncertainty stop you from creating your life.

How To Free Yourself

3 Step Guide

What does freedom feel like?

Overwhelmed with choices and inundated with fear, it is within our control to choose the life we want to live. Whether it is the freedom to make the choices actually want, [free of guilt and free of judgement] or the freedom of knowing that the creation of our lives is in our own hands – I am here to teach you how. This week I offer 3 simple steps to help get you started in determining what it is you want, and how you are going to get there.

As always, the audio version of this post is available on iTunes, SoundCloud, or Google Play.

1. Accept Unwillingness

As humans, we tend to want a lot of things. Often times however, it is the idea of the thing rather than the actual thing itself that is so appealing. If you’re not willing to put in extra hours or set aside the extra money for whatever your idea may be (i.e. a new job, a new car, mastering a skill, etc.) then perhaps it is time you re-evaluate how badly you really want it. Just because you like the idea of something doesn’t mean you are actually willing to work for it, and that is totally okay.

Any obstacle you face can either be framed as willing or unwilling to overcome.  By accepting the fact that you are unwilling to do the work needed to get you whatever it is you are wanting, you are in turn freeing your mind of guilt and allowing yourself room to focus on achieving whatever it is that you actually want. There is no need to feel bad about something you never really wanted anyway.

2. Be Realistic

We each have a tendency to build up scenarios in our minds. We assume judgment, failure, and embarrassment to be certain when taking risks or putting ourselves out there. While these thoughts can be overwhelming I want to encourage you to put it into perspective; Is sharing an idea at work going to get you fired? Is going for a 20 minute walk going to be that hard?

If you feel overwhelmed in scenarios such as those mentioned, I encourage you to break it down into smaller components. What are the steps you will need to take to accomplish the task? View them each as individual milestones. Try not to stress about the bigger picture, for the greater task is not important. It is the life that will become available to you on the other side that is most important, when you look at a scenario realistically and free yourself of fear.

3. Determine Your Direction

It is all too easy to compare our lives to other’s. You convince yourself that your life would be better if you had what they have. You need to let that thought go. Learn to replace the envy you have with a willingness to change your own life.

Where is it that you would like to go? What are you trying to accomplish? What is it that you actually want?

Figure out where it is you want to go, and free your mind of the negativity associated with not getting to where everyone else is at.

This is YOUR life and YOUR direction. You can choose to be free.